You know you're in forensics when...

...you start reciting your piece in your sleep
...you only know people by their last name (often with "Representative" in the front of it)
...you walk into a room full of people talking, screaming, whispering, and communicating to walls and you think nothing of it
...you wear heels for more than 18 hours a day
...bi*chy isn't a mood, its a competitive strategy
...you have practice debates in your free time
...your outfit includes a power suit

Debate is life, the rest is just prep-time.

A person is walking down the hall talking to herself.  She is:  
A.)  hearing voices  
B.)  using a bluetooth  
C.)  an extemper
 
 
How many debaters does it take to change a light bulb?
  PF debaters have to toss a coin to decide
  LD debaters have to prove the value in changing the light bulb
  Policy debaters claim that changing the light bulb will lead to the End of the World as We Know It

When a bone surgeon evaluates an arm injury, is that a humerus interpretation?

The Student Congressman didn't finish the house he was building because he couldn't get the floor. 

What's the difference between Poetry and Impromptu?  Whether or not you left your binder at home.

What happens when dating debaters break up?  A cross-ex

Which reaches the highest decibel level?
A.)  An ambulance siren
B.)  A tornado warning siren
C.)  A Dramatic Interpretation

Why doesn't Duo require the use of binders?  Because twice as many would be missing at the end of the year.

4N6 Definitions:
Short Story--a Prose piece requiring the least cutting for the 10 minute max.
Code Number--the most illegible thing written on a ballot
Stairwell--room for impromptu competition
Music Stand--table for forensics judge
Introduction--that part of a interp piece written on the way to the Tournament [and rewritten after Round I]

An extemper went to Wendy's and ordered three hamburgers, ate one, and returned the other two.

What kind of car does a policy debater drive? A Fiat

How can you tell the experienced judges before a tournament?  They have a stopwatch in one hand and a donut in the other.